Post by Kevin Strife on Nov 3, 2011 8:26:40 GMT -6
Today I went to visit an apartment. It was time to stop paying a motel room and settle somewhere. When I say settle, I mean, have a place to put my bags as I keep kicking ass in WPW.
Oh yeah, have you seen me in action? I kicked ass again and retained my TV title. Was anybody surprised honestly? I swear the level of competition in WPW is pretty much inexistant. I could face Firebomb himself and snatch away his title. But we'll come back to that in a bit.
First, let me finish my apartment story. So, here I was, with Tracy Miller, the real estate agent, and we're going through the place and she's showing me all the features and whatnot. I suddenly can sense that there's a vibe coming from her. Like you know, that somehow you know that someone wants to ask you something but they're not daring to? That's how it felt.
So I asked her what was up and she said she was quite happy and honoured to meet me. She isn't a big fan of wrestling really but she watches it sometimes to stare at, and I quote, "hot guys". I rolled my eyes but smiled. She sounded like a dumb bitch but I thought she'd give me a better deal on the apartment if she had the hots for me. And... she did. I asked her if she thought I was hot. She blushed and replied that she did think so. Needless to say that created a certain atmosphere.
She wasn't too bad looking, decent I guess, so I thought I'd have some fun with it. I told her that I would let her have a taste of me if she bowed down to me. She looked at me funny but when she saw I was proposing something serious, she smiled shyly. She went to lock the door to make sure nobody would walk in on us. She asked me how she should bow to me and I said to her that she had to kiss my feet. She was surprised but did it. She bent down, took off my shoes, peeled off my socks and kissed my toes. I smiled at her submitting to me like that.
Then, I gave her the reward she was asking for. I asked her to look at me and she did... then... I slapped her. She fell on her back and was utterly shocked. I started laughing uncontrollably. The shame of what she just did dawned on her and she began tearing up. That just made it even more fun for me. I put my shoes and socks back on and told her to f**k off. I told her I would find a much better agent who would find me a way better apartment than the crap she came up with. Then, I left. I could her crying as I closed the door behind me. It was music to my ears.
I'm sure you're thinking that I'm a jerk for doing what I did and you're right. I'm a jerk. I'm a bully. And I love being like that. Sure it might make me a bad person but hey... I'm not trying to be Mother Theresa. I'm just me and that's the way it's going to be. Don't try to change me, you'll never succeed. I like seeing people becoming my bitches and worshipping me like the God that I am. I have yet to meet anyone who can really give me a worthy challenge. I mean, is that all there is on offer in WPW? Firebomb is a loser and he's the top champion? How sad is that? But don't worry, it won't be for long. I intend to destroy him. All in good time.
But making plans is not all I do, I also await with high anticipation to see who I'm going to face next. And imagine how awesome I felt when I saw that the only challenger so far is some bitch called Shiva. That was sarcasm, by the way. Now, when I think Shiva, I think of the Goddess, of someone awesome... and then I see the ugly bitch in her promo and I'm like laughing out loud. How can an ugly bitch like that call herself Shiva? That's just wrong. Aw, man. Fun times.
So, Shiva is the only challenger so far. What about her, you might ask? Well, she's one of Firebomb's whores. What a surprise. Not only is Firebomb pathetic but he also has shitty taste in women. Can he be more of a loser? The new bitch he has now is one of the dumbest bitches I have ever heard. She rambles on about her flat chest and her droopy ass and then grills me for talking about how awesome my feet are... then she says some shit about money... I lost interest by then so I'm not really sure how that affects my abilities in the ring, but sure, talk about money, bitch, that's going to help when I bury my foot in your face.
When I say she's dumb, I'm really underselling it. She hears my feet are lethal and the first thing that comes to her mind is that I don't wash my feet. God... is this really the only opponent available? If I wasn't so awesome, I'd shoot myself. Shiva, this is for you: I do wash my feet regularly, I take good care of them, they're not gross, they don't have fungus, they're normal. You want to know why I say they're lethal? It's because my kicks make them lethal. The feet are just the tools to express my talents. I know those are complicated words and Firebomb is nowhere intelligent enough to explain them to you but just know this: You are NOT getting my title and you ARE going to be my bitch. Just like Tracy Miller, you will kiss my toes and beg for my mercy.
And then, you'll have a great story to tell: How you got owned by Kevin Strife.
f**k you, bitch.
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