Me and My Wife Episode 5

[firebomb]

Me & My Wife

Opening credits Show Kelly Dancing on a stripper pole that quickly fades to Robert at Larry’s Used Cars



Baby, don’t you wanna, dance upon me,
(I just wanna dance next to you)
To another time and place.
Staring
Baby, don’t you wanna, dance upon me,

Firebomb Commito
(Are you ready)
Leaving behind my name, my age.


Britney Spears
I’m a slave for you. (Take that)
I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I’m a slave (It just feels right) for you. (It just feels good)
I won’t deny it; I’m not trying to hide it. (Baby)


Richard Kline

(Shows then embracing each other on the couch)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)
[Panting]


Get it get it, get it get it
Created by Firebomb Commito

Episode 5 Kelly’s Accident (Written By Firebomb Commito)

Act 1

We fade inside a grocery store where we see Kelly pushing her shopping cart outside to her car as she is walking a few guys start to give her a few cat calls as she stops and flirts with them.

Guys: Hey sexy want to go and have some fun?

KJ: I would but my husband becomes a grump if he hasn’t eaten, Maybe next time!

As Kelly adjusts her shirt to show some more cleavage she forgets about the shopping cart and rools into to a park car she turns around and runs after it

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

KJ: Oh Crap!

As Kelly takes the shopping cart and puts away her grocery’s she walks over to the car that her shopping cart hits and leaves one of Robert’s business cards with a note on back that her shopping cart hit the parked car and to call to settle damages
As we fade into the Jones living room where we see Robert and Larry watching TV when the phone rings.

15 minutes latter

RJ: Hello, yes this is him,

Pause

RJ: Sorry, you must have the wrong Robert Jones, I wasn’t at no Store and I sure the hell didn’t hit your car with a shopping cart!

Pause

RJ: Screw the court we can settle this in the parking lot!

Pause

RJ: Oh yea we will see!

As Robert hangs up the phone Larry Dallas looks at him.

LD: What was that about?

RJ: Some idiot said I was just at a grocery store and I hit his car with my shopping cart!

LD: How could you do that, you were here with me watching the Dodger game.

RJ: He said I left my business card on his window too!

LD: What kind of person would do that, not you, you would sale a Junker to the pope!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)
As Kelly walks in carrying a few bags of groceries

RJ: Hey Larry, I think we found our dingbat

LD: Who?

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)
As Robert points to Kelly!

LD: OH, well I got to go big guys tell who wins the game!

As Larry exits out the door Robert walks over to Kelly and smiles as he is helping her unload the groceries as he talks to her.

RJ: So Kelly how was your day!

KJ: I lost control of the shopping cart and it hit a car so I left your business card telling the owner to contact us!

RJ: Why?

KJ: I didn’t mean to hit the car it just happen!

RJ: Why did you leave my card when the owner would have never even known you dingbat.

KJ: Because it was the right thing to do!

As Robert walks off into the Bed Room upset!

Act 2

Robert Jones is sitting down in his living room looking at the TV when he picks up the phone to call the car shop that is fixing the car pretending to be an insurance adjuster

RJ: Yes this is Steve Cataract

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: Yes I am the insurance adjuster handling Mr. Harper’s car!

Pause

RJ: Yes, could you tell me how much it is going to cost to fix the little dent!

Pause

RJ: OK I see it total bill is how much!

Pause

RJ: For a dent

Pause

RJ: Well I think $45,000 is a little high for a dent!

Pause

RJ: I don’t care if you had to replace the whole Quarter Panel!

Pause

RJ: Yea, whatever!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: KELLY !!!!

RJ: You are costing me $45,000

KJ: Sorry, I didn’t know it was going to be that much maybe we can cut a deal with the owner!

RJ: You could be Britney Spears and it still wouldn’t work

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

As the Doorbell rings Kelly goes and opens the door as Charlie Harper walks in

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

CH: Sorry, I would have been here sooner but your security was
making sure Chuck Lorre wasn’t around

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

KJ: Who is Chuck Lorre?

CH: Some douche bag that lives next door.

KJ: Well come in my name is Kelly and this is my Husband Robert!

As Charlie Harper and Robert Jones shake hands!

CH: With 3 crazy people around makes me want to know if Leslie Moonves is around.

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)
RJ: You know it could be worse Dick Ebersol could be around!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

CH: You know I like you, you remind me of a winner the car damages let’s just call it even for 100 bucks

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

Act 3

g

As we fade into the Jones Bedroom we a big pile of covers as you hear Kelly moaning and screaming as the covers are removed we see Kelly Jones in her bra and panties on her right is Charlie Harper and on her left is Robert Jones.

KJ: Wow, that was like fun!

CH: Fun is an understatement that was winning

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

As Leslie Moonves walks onto the set with a disturb look on his face!

LM: First Howard Stern then Don Imus and now these three, oh great! could be worse Dick Ebersol could have them, Hey you three what are you doing!

CH: Winning!!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

(Ending credits)
Guest Starring
Charlie Sheen
Leslie Moonves
Producer
Ken Kwapis
Executive Producer
Firebomb Commito
Director
Firebomb Commito


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