Me & My Wife Episode 1

[firebomb]

Me & My Wife

Opening credits Show Kelly Dancing on a stripper pole that quickly fades to Robert at Larry’s Used Cars



Baby, don’t you wanna, dance upon me,
(I just wanna dance next to you)
To another time and place.
Staring
Baby, don’t you wanna, dance upon me,

Firebomb Commito
(Are you ready)
Leaving behind my name, my age.


Britney Spears
I’m a slave for you. (Take that)
I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I’m a slave (It just feels right) for you. (It just feels good)
I won’t deny it; I’m not trying to hide it. (Baby)


Richard Kline

(Shows then embracing each other on the couch)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)
[Panting]


Get it get it, get it get it
Created by Firebomb Commito

Episode 1 the Wife (Written By Firebomb Commito)

Act 1

(We fade into the living room of Robert Jones as he is sitting down on the couch in his living room, when Larry Dallas walks in and begins to talk.)

LD: Robert my pal, How was Vegas, were the girls wild?

RJ: I guess you can say wild, I just don’t get Vegas!

LD: What’s there to get, you lose 300 bucks and you drink around 75 bucks of free liquor!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

LD: So tell me did you at least forget about your Ex.

RJ: Forget her of course I forgot about her.

(As Kelly walks into the living room wearing just her bra and some jeans, As Larry looks at her,as she walks by into the bedroom)

LD: Hello, I am Larry!

RJ: Larry, will you stop staring at my wife with goggle eyes.

LD: I’m Sorry! (short pause) YOUR WHAT?

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: My wife!

LD: Just great, Thats the last time I send you to Vegas, you leave for 2 days depressed over your 4 star ex girlfriend and come back a 10 star hot wife, HOW DID YOU do it.

RJ: vodka and rum, how else

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

LD: So does this mean , some good home cook meals?

RJ: Does it look like she can cook, come on Larry!

LD: I swear the guy comes back married to some Pop tart, and I still don’t get a home cook meal.

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: Fine Larry, come over for dinner tonight

(As Robert Jones walks in to the bedroom to see Kelly rearranging stuff and unpacking her stuff)

RJ: Hey you took down my Britney Spears poster.

KJ: Oh, Please like you really need to look at her, Is it me or what? I just don’t see what guys see in her! The little tramp walking around like she’s all that!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: Larry is coming over for dinner tonight, so I hope you can cook something good.

KJ: Yea, I think I can cook something for your boss!

RJ: I am going to love this marriage thing

Act 2

(We fade into the kitchen of the Jones where, we see Kelly pulling some popcorn out of the microwave, she then moves in over to a bowl and fills it the popcorn , She pulls out a box a mac and cheese and poors un cooked into a bowl and then throw some process cheese on in and microwaves it)

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

(Kelly then Pulls out some raw hotdogs and slices them up and throws them on the plate)

KJ: See Kelly, you know you can cook!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

KJ: That’s right Robert and Larry coffee with dinner.

(As Kelly take some pre grind coffee and pours into the cups half way and then throws some hot water in the cups )

KJ: Who said I can’t cook!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

(As Kelly sets the table in the dinning room she smiles)

KJ: Good Job Kelly, you cooked your first meal for your husband!

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

KJ: Boys it’s dinner time!

(As Robert and larry sit down with Kelly siting down at the head of the table, Rober and Larry look at each other with a disturb look)

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

(As Robert bites into the Mac & Cheese and grabs his jaw)
(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: this is a unique dinner darling !

LD: Robert, just saying that because she cut up your wiener

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: You know what Kelly, me and Larry didn’t think you were going to make a big dinner so we had a big lunch, so we will just have coffee

(As Robert takes a sip of coffee and swallows it , as he shows a funny look on his face)

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

RJ: Good coffee Kelly, Larry try it!

LD: You know I switched to decaf.

(Enormously loud blast of screaming laughter from audience)

KJ: Who am I kidding I suck at cooking and being a wife!

(As Kelly runs off into a bed room, and Larry excuses himself, Robert grabs the bowl as he walks up to the locked bedroom door they talk threw the door as the TV audience sees a split screen )

RJ: Kelly, come on this is a great dinner I love it.

KJ: No you don’t!

RJ: Yes I do! Come on open the door and let’s talk

Act 3 Closing Act

( We fade into the Jones Bedroom , were we see Kelly and Robert in bed siting up. Kelly is reading a Cosmo magazine, while Robert Jones is reading an Auto Trend Magazine)

RJ: why didn’t you tell me you didn’t know how to cook?

KJ: I thought you knew!

RJ: We have only known each other for 3 days, how was supposed to know!

KJ: You’re a car salesman your supposed to read people’s minds.

RJ: If I could I read minds I would know what your thinking right now.

KJ: Maybe you are!

(As Kelly leans over and crawls up on top of Robert!

RJ: So this is the advantages of being married.

KJ: Maybe for you!

(Ending credits)

Producer
Ken Kwapis
Executive Producer
Firebomb Commito
Director
Richard Kline


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