Post by Onyx on Sept 21, 2006 5:06:12 GMT -6
FTW... the Big Mac makes an arrival
[/color]The scene opens in a Louisville airport. A good amount of people are flying even with the major holidays months ahead. In a large crowd of people exiting a flight Onyx emerges. His eyes are fierce and he seems a bit disturbed Onyx storms out through the crowd, leading the way for the rest of the passengers behind. Johnny quickly checks his watch, but is suddenly stopped by a young man. A fat man with glasses and a go-tee. He's wearing a black shirt with white bold letters reading, "Johnny, YOU SUCK!". Onyx chuckles at the shirt.
JO: This some kind of joke?
The fat man laughs, his man-boobs bounce a bit.
Fat Guy: You are Johnny Onyx, right?
JO: You bet your ass I am... two time Big Gold champion beyotch!
The fat guy chuckles again, his man-boobs bouncing even more.
JO: Ever think about a breast reduction?
Fat Guy: You suck!
JO: That the best you've got fatty? I figured a man of your mass could've come up with something a bit more harsh than that. Hell, your shirt states that fact... and every damn WpW fan has been spitting the same damn thing down my throat.
Fat Guy: You freaking suck man... you can't beat GRENDEL, hell David Capital beat 'em but...
JO: But what Michelin man? You don't have shit on me... DC didn't have shit on me. Stop bringing up the past, if we could change the past I would still be Big Gold champ, and maybe... well maybe you'd drop a pound or seventy.
Fat Guy: You're a dick Johnny, just like Prowrestling Insider said.
Johnny shrugs his shoulders.
JO: F*ck Prowrestling Insider, f*ck you... and F*CK TH WORLD!
Onyx flips off the fat kid.
Fat Guy: You... you're a bastard!
Johnny smirks before he drops to his knees and cracks the fat kid in the groin. An elderly woman yells in the background.
Elderly woman's voice: Heel!
Onyx smirks and stands to his feet, he brushes off his hands and walks away from the cowering fat man.
JO: Heel bastard huh? Whatever... f*ck 'em all.
Later that day...
The scene opens inside a small gym in Louisville. Onyx is jogging around the ring in a black hooded sweat suit. Suddenly his assistant, Lee walks through the doors of the building and toward the ring. The walk takes only a moment for the complex is very small.
L: Hey Johnny man... how's training going?
JO: Cooling down Lee. You ever get a chance to look into getting me a body guard?
L: Yeah I did meester Onyx. But why do a tough man like you need with a body guard?
Onyx starts shadow boxing in the ring.
JO: I need someone to back me for the things I am about to do.
L: What is beeger than your matches at Heatwave?
Onyx stops jogging and points at Lee, he seems very pissed.
JO: What the F*ck did I say about Heatwave!?!
Lee lowers his head in shame.
L: We no talk about that day... sorry sir.
Onyx starts jogging around the ring again.
JO: So where's this dude that is supposed to protect me?
L: One moment...
Lee rushes to the door from which he came, he leans out and quickly turns back. He smiles and walks toward the ring.
L: I introduce... Mac!
A large man storms through the door. He stares grimly as he enters the complex.
Onyx smirks once he spots the size of the man, a good seven foot and nearly four hundred pounds makes for a sure-fire protection agent in Onyx's eye.
JO: Hey Man, welcome aboard.
The man grunts and looks over at Lee. Lee nods and Mac turns back toward Onyx and nods, grunting again.
JO: Holy shit Lee, you've got me a giant didn't you?
L: I do the best I can boss.
JO: So Mac... you wanna spar?
Mac shakes his head no.
M: I protect Johnny!
Onyx smirks... he looks back toward Lee.
JO: Lee, jumps me... hit me with a chair.
L: What boss?
JO: Just do it... it's an order.
Lee shrugs his shoulders and grabs a chair. He starts making his way toward Onyx before Mac grabs the chair and flings it to the wall, landing inside the dry-wall. Onyx and Lee stare at the outstanding site for a moment.
JO: Shouldas doesn’t have shit on big man here… let alone me. That big dumbass can bring all his relatives, all I need is Mac.
Mac: Mac hungry…
Onyx looks over at Lee, handing him a twenty, but he retrieve it back and replaces it with a fifty.
JO: Give him this… tell him to eat whatever he wants, I don’t need any change.
L: Hey boss, why don’t you want to give ‘em the cash?
JO: You’re the assistant, so assist.
Lee mumbles something in Spanish before making his way to the big man. He extends his hand and turns his head away from Mac. Lee’s knee’s tremble in fear.
M: Money for food?
Lee nods… Mac grabs the money and smiles. He walks out of the complex staring at the money as he does such. Lee quickly walks back over toward Johnny.
L: That’s one big son of a beetch you’ve got there boss. One big ese.
JO: And I have you to thank.
L: Am I gonna get a bonus pay boss?
Onyx smirks for a moment before snapping at his employee.
JO: Don’t get eager there Lee, I’m not a very giving man so I wouldn’t push it.
L: Sorry boss.
Onyx bounces off the ropes and starts sprinting around the ring. Lee watches from the apron.
L: Hey boss, you ready for your match.
Onyx stops and looks over at Lee.
JO: Why the hell would I be training if I was ready? Are you that dumb Lee? Really man, are you?
L: Just asking boss. You happen to catch his promo?
Onyx starts laughing as he shadow boxes.
L: I take that as a yes. Was a bit disappointing, even by my standards.
JO: That’s horrible, because you don’t have standards.
L: I do… just not very much of standards.
JO: You’ve got about as good of standards as your English… which sucks!
L: What you think about the fans who say you suck?
JO: F*ck ‘em…. F*ck ‘em all. If you are don’t with Johnny Onyx, then I’ve got two words for ya’?
L: Suck it?
Onyx shakes his head, still zoning in on his boxing.
JO: F*ck off! I’m no McMillion rip off like some of the WpW roster. Why follow a lost explorer when your Christopher Columbus.
L: You saying Vinnie doesn’t know wrestling…
JO: Not like Johnny Onyx, and most definitely not like Ryansup. That man knows how to own a business… and he is smart enough to keep his head out of harm’s way.
L: You’d say you’d take a chop at his head?
JO: Nope… he hasn’t done shit to me. But if he was poking his head around all the time like Vinnie, I’m sure he’d get hit.
L: So about Johnny Shouldas…
JO: What about him? He’s less than wise and has more beef than brain. Who cares if you can toss jobbers over the ropes… The last Fed Cup I entered, I won. Can he say that? Doubt it. Fed Cup’s aren’t my style anyway… too much luck and too little talent used during them. All you’ve gotta do is get tossed over a rope and your done… cashed out! I like using the mat to my advantage. Guess I’ll be teaching Shouldas a lesson in mat skills, because from what I’ve seen that’s his main drawback.
L: I thought it was his intelligence.
JO: Nope… guys like Mike Sensation prove that you don’t have to be bright to succeed… it helps, but even a stubborn meathead can win a match, every now and then. But Shouldas is no Sensation… hell there’s nothing sensational about his dumbass. He’s not even entertaining. Not comical either. He’s flat out predictable and boring… in and out of the ring. Johnny Shouldas is dropping like a fly at this Louisville event… give the match all the gimmick names you’d like, the end will be the same: Johnny Shouldas tapping the F*CK OUT! SNAP CRACKLE POP, BITCH!
Onyx spits at the camera that has been shooting the scene, ending the promo.
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