|
Post by thebutterscotchsta on Jan 27, 2006 10:56:03 GMT -6
Altieri is walking through the hotel lobby when he spots an envelope on the floor. He picks it up and not seeing an owner anywhere decides to see what is inside. He opens the envelope and pulls out a document with the title “How to become a WpW award winner 101.”
“It must belong to another one of the WpW Superstars staying at the hotel.”
Altieri reads aloud the document to himself.
“Step One: Develop and obsessive compulsive disorder – smirking, laughing, and grinning inanely at things that aren't funny is ideal, although, other forms of involuntary spasm may also work... hmmm.”
“Step Two: Cuss – Make sure nothing you say is ever heard on day-time television... makes perfect sense.”
“Step Three: Homophobia – Squeeze as many gay jokes as possible into every promo, this will not only affect your opponent's wrestling ability, but will also make you appear more manly, if not slightly bigoted.”
“Step Four: Wrestle occasionally... Hell, I can do that.”
“Additional notes: Being a midget isn't necessarily a handicap. Talent and charisma optional.”
Armed with this powerful knowledge, Altieri took his first strides towards becoming an award winning WpW Superstar.
|
|
Ulie Red
superstar
"The Lightning Kid"
Posts: 81
|
Post by Ulie Red on Jan 27, 2006 13:18:29 GMT -6
That Wrestler Johnny sits on the hood of his 69 Malibu down a back alley, just to make him look cool.
Johnny - I was sittin' at home watchin' hours of WPW footage on channel 88....ummm actually I was flippin' between channel 88 and porn. But anyways, I decided, why let you goofs have all the fun. So I hopped in the Malibu and drove to Cincinatti. I figured what the hell, I get to beat up some faggot...ummmm homosexual, and I get to throw around a midget.
You know, whenever I was a kid, I asked my ma for a pet midget. She never got it. Maybe after I win the Fed Cup, I can stuff the other Johnny in it and have my own little mini me. Whatsay you?
Fuggetaboutit.
|
|
|
Post by Onyx on Jan 27, 2006 16:06:35 GMT -6
The feeds opens live to Onyx's home. He smirks at the channel 88 crew before him.
Onyx: "I'm starting to think we need an all Johnny battle royal around this place... to determine the one and only Johnny of WpW. I'm tired of seeing these cats, as SBK says, going by Johnny, the damned Pirate, Mr. Smith, and now just this stupd Italian known simply as duh... Johnny. This is like a never ending story, one of which has started to irritate yours truly... Johnnys around WpW watch out, because I'm coming to claim the sole ownership of the alias."
The scene fades.[/i\
|
|
|
Post by thebutterscotchsta on Jan 27, 2006 21:05:08 GMT -6
“An all-Johnny battle royal. Yeah that's just what this place needs. The midget, the gay-basher, and the 'Italian' who couldn't so much as find Europe on a map. I guess we now know why you're not the head booker for WpW, ey Signore Onyx?”
Altieri strolls from the hotel lobby back into the bar, fanning himself with the envelope. He is immediately greeted by his female entourage. Altieri's face takes on an air of seriousness for a moment as he turns back to the camera.
“As much as it will be a pleasure to beat you all, the Fed Cup is not a simple matter of adding some silverware to my mantle. It's not just a warm-up to another match. My entire wrestling career may well rest on my performance in this match.”
“I know, back home in Roma, mamma e pappi will be watching and cheering for me. You had each better bring all the game you've got. Because in the Fed Cup il Stallion rides, and you better believe he's running to make mamma proud.”
Altieri sensually and intensely mutters something in Italian and the adoring women around him gasp and cling to him closely. Altieri tilts his head back for dramatic effect while the women fuss over him and the scene fades to black.
|
|
|
Post by Onyx on Jan 28, 2006 12:03:25 GMT -6
Onyx grimly stares into the camera.
Onyx: "This Lucy chick is really starting to annoy me. His flaming gayness is overwhelming our opposition, he's brought in a small pirate and an Italian, well atleast he thinks he is an Italian. This Fec Cup is pulling toward my way more and more each day. With every stupid comment these folks make, it just weakens themself, leaving a large wound for me to toss salt into. Seems as though we've made HWM disapear, which is quite the feet, considering his self-procalimed WpW legend status... Bottom line is that the only legend in this match is the Legend Killer, Johnny Onyx... First I'll kill Miller, thn Grendel. Fed Cup opposition, don't you wish you were me?"
Johnny smiles as the scene fades.
|
|
|
Post by HWM on Jan 28, 2006 13:18:04 GMT -6
(Miller is has a fierce look on his face)
So you smirk just like your career, very grim. Johnny you have yet to remember I have come back in a big way. Once you underestimate me, that's when you let your guard down, you make it seem like, you're the best. I don't call myself a legend in this buisness for no reason Johnny, I did beat you after all, the alleged "Legend Killer". You didn't kill me, you made me stronger. I killed you, I made you what you are today. The reason you want to beat me so bad is because you want what you can't have.... TALENT... The ability to WIN. It strikes in your soul, as you're in awe of my wins, this Fed Cup will be no different as I toss you and all these other assclowns over the top rope and claim what's mine... the Fed Cup!
|
|
|
Post by thephil on Jan 28, 2006 20:43:07 GMT -6
The signs of a hotel room shows after zooming out from a television set shutting off. The Phil in a bath robe with a cup of coffee next too him smiles at the camera.
The Phil - Boys, boys, boys. You're doing this all wrong. Your presence is supposed to grace the camera, not poison it. Show yourselves for the fans out there sparingly. Make them want to see more of you, not vomit at your presence. You wanna know why I'm here? You three really want to find out what The Phil is doing with you jobbers? Even you Miller? Consider me quality control.
A sip of the coffee, and Phil continues.
The Phil - WpW has a lack of quality in it boys, and this week at Goldpush, I'm bringing some back, and with a very discerning eye, I'll be throwing the lack out of the ring.
The Phil sits down in the provided hotel chair and kicks his feet up on the rickety hotel table.
The Phil - Until then boys, have fun pretending to be real wreslters.
The camera fades out as Phil sips on his coffee and smiles.
|
|
|
Post by Onyx on Jan 29, 2006 7:37:53 GMT -6
Onyx's ever present smirk graces the camera as he flashes a confident glance into the camera lens.
Onyx: "Phyllis, you quality? Seriously bitch, do you really think you actually have an attribute to bring to WpW, that isn't already here? That's asinine, just like you, and you entire family. You want some quality, check out the Big Gold match... wait, are you even on the Gold Push card Phyllis? Come to think of it you aren't. So how exactly are you going to rbing anything to Gold Push? You're more ignorant than I first expected. I don't know why anyone would ever let you come back.... although you probably pulled a few 'things' and did your 'sucking' up on the BOD. So, how does Roy Lee's Longhorn taste?"
Onyx smacks the camera away for he is disgusted.
|
|
Ulie Red
superstar
"The Lightning Kid"
Posts: 81
|
Post by Ulie Red on Jan 29, 2006 13:10:14 GMT -6
That Wrestler Johnny sits on a couch with two dark haired hour glassed women....
Johnny: Well, it seems that the match for the Fed Cup will be loaded to the brim with participants. Some even already holding championships in WPW. Looks like I'm gonna get to have a lil' bit o' fun wit this. That mamaluke Johnny Onyx even seems a lil' bit bamboozled and pissed cause' my name just happen to be Johnny too. Well, Mr. Onyx, other Johnny, get over it. And if your thinkin' about taking me out just cause' of my name, well..........
Fuggetaboutit.
|
|
|
Post by thebutterscotchsta on Jan 30, 2006 10:41:23 GMT -6
The shot opens on the set of “Who's The Boss” where born-again Italian, Johnny, has just finished filming. On second thoughts, scrap that, the shot opens on the lounge of Luca Altieri's hotel.
Altieri is dancing a slow tango apasionado with one of his women, a rose sits between his clenched teeth. The channel 88 camera crew come up along side him while they glide together over the dance floor.
Altieri takes the rose from his mouth and places it in the woman's hair before addressing the camera still dancing.
“Wrestling is much like a dance. You face your partner filled with passion, energy, and desire. You will move together from the start to the end, reading the music and the tempo... fast or slow. All the while the intensity builds all around you but is you remain unaffected, lost in your own concentration.”
“Love, hate, affection, rivalry...”
Altieri dips his partner.
“... it's all just emotion.”
“Signore Onyx, Miller, Phil, Johnny Danza... I know that come The Fed Cup, you will all be feeling me and when the music stops, it will be il Stallion that remains standing.”
|
|
|
Post by Onyx on Jan 30, 2006 16:28:38 GMT -6
Onyx chuckles as Channel 88 flickers on with another of his Fed Cup promos. The camera shows Onyx in the Green Room of Conan O'Brien, a man of Irish heritage, in fact the tall lanky man sits beside Onyx, with a corcky smirk on his face.
Onyx: "Dances with wolves... that's Lucy for sure. That tramp Lucy was dancing with was insanely ugly... almost as ugly as Lucy herself. Now I'm all in for HLA, Hot Lesbian Action that is... but not FTA, being Fugly Transvestite Action."
Onyx shutters and makes a disgusted face, leaving an opening for the ever so comedic O'Brien.
O'Brien: "Mr. Onyx here has been showing me some of WpW's Fed Cup tapes, and by chance there was a class of fifth graders here... and they drew us a few pictures of some of the Fed Cup participants."
The camera shows a child's drawing of Luca wearing a dress and putting on make up in front of a mirror. Then the camera flickers to a drawing of The Wrestler Johnny reading a book entitled 'How to be a stupid Italian'. Finally the camera shows a drawing of HWM sitting in a recliner, beer in hand, and the other hand down his pants. We focus back on Onyx.
Onyx: "Sadly... those kids are more observant than any of my opposition at the Cup."
Fin.
|
|
Ulie Red
superstar
"The Lightning Kid"
Posts: 81
|
Post by Ulie Red on Jan 30, 2006 19:58:47 GMT -6
Johnny sits once again on the hood of his Malibu.
Johnny: Johnny Danza, yeah fruit, I'm tha' fricken' boss. Wow, such cheap petty crap from you people. Guys, you know how I got these shouldas'? I got these shouldas' from liftin' dirtbags outta my uncles cigar shop. Guys, you know how I got these busted knuckles? I got these busted knuckles from having to pick people's teeth outa em'. So, you can live your whole high and mighty thing, and dance with all the hookas you want, I'll stick to tha streets of Brooklyn, the dance partnas are more fun, and alot less hairy than yours. So pansy ass......
Fuggetaboutit.
|
|
|
Post by thephil on Jan 30, 2006 23:01:47 GMT -6
The Phil appears to be at a backstage signing for the Cincinatti fans.
The Phil - Quality guys, quality. So far I've seen not ONE person enter this thing who should be here, and that's myself included. You all shouldn't be disgracing WpW in Cincinatti this way, and I shouldn't be getting sent out to babysit your asses. But you are, so I am. Three Johnnies, two freaks, and the Heel Bastard in this match.
The Phil signs a fan's photo for them and cotinues talking.
The Phil - One Match. One Winner. One Bastard. One Winner. ONE. All in the same. Sure it's just a fed cup, and the best thing I'll have to reflect on is the photo of me holding the thing. It doesn't matter though, as I'm just in this thing for the fight.
The Phil smiles back at the camera as the it fades to black.
|
|
|
Post by Onyx on Jan 31, 2006 3:44:15 GMT -6
Channel 88 flickers to another Johnny Onyx promo, this time he's back in his home.
Onyx: "Still there isn't a REAL man, aside from myself, in this match. There's a half-queer pirate, a full queer hairy lesbo, ther fugliest drunk bitch I've ever seen.. a bunch of cunts claiming to be named Johnny, which is by far the most pathetic... oh yeah, and the tolken fat bitch whom always complains and cries about not being treated fairly. Normally I'd size up my competition, but that's a bit to much for Phyllis and her massive thunder thighs."
He can't help but chuckle out loud.
Onyx: "Come Fed Cup, come home to daddy... for I'm your true keeper. Come home for once Cup, I'll keep you polished and shined up for the world to see, sitting there atop my mantle, just overhead of the fireplace. Come to daddy Fed Cup."
The scene fades.
|
|
|
Post by thephil on Jan 31, 2006 5:57:10 GMT -6
Backstage in the Cincinatti Arena, the Phil looks at the fed cup sitting in it's display case.
The Phil - A fed cup keeper? For a trophy that's awarded to the wrestler only to be given back to WpW after the house show's over? Even the almighty Shawn Stryker handed the fed cup back to the WpW execs when the show was over. Onyx, it's obvious you have no clue what you're fighting for. It's obvious that all you can resort to are fat jokes and women names. This cup?
Phil points to the fed cup.
The Phil - This cup is going to be handed to me, after the bell rings. And when the crowd clears, I'll be handing it back into the fat execs up top, just like everyone else. Until then, enjoy your little fantasy world.
The Phil taps on the glass display case for a second, then moves on as the camera goes black.
|
|
|
Post by thebutterscotchsta on Jan 31, 2006 7:45:40 GMT -6
“The Fed Cup's true holder?”
Altieri seems puzzled as he sits at a table by the dance floor with his dance partner.
“You do confuse me Signore Onyx. According to WpW records you've never won the Fed Cup. Care to explain to me exactly how it is you are the true holder of The Fed Cup, despite the fact you've never once laid your hands on it?”
Altieri shakes his head.
“Perhaps this is some strange delusion you have to go along with your obsessive, inane grinning? Maybe you have taken one too many chair shots. I don't know, I'm not un medico, but there is definitely medication available for you.”
“Signore Pheel, how was your flight? Nice to see you managed to join us in time for the show. Just don't look so closely at that trophy cabinet. I'd hate for you to grow too attached to the contents only to find later that the night belongs to il Stallion.”
|
|
|
Post by Onyx on Jan 31, 2006 8:50:21 GMT -6
Onyx smirks as the camera flashes onto another one of his r/ps. He smiles before a dark background, set up for this occasion.
Onyx: "Let me clear things up for these dumb broads. I say I am going to be the Fed Cup kepper, which is what I'll do from right after this Fed Cup until the next, where I'll once again dominate and take the cup. If old SBK did hand the cup over at the end of the show... and you'd know since you've got the family tree of his plastered on the wall, with footnotes jotted down so you can easily mock them, trying to head yourself in the right way. Anyway, I'm going to keep a tight hold on that cup until the next one comes around. Then I'll smile as my face is written on it, right under Eno Redrum's. Only mine will be on that cup over and over... and over! MUHUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The scene fades.
|
|
|
Post by Ryansup on Jan 31, 2006 23:38:15 GMT -6
Fed Cuppers, Hour one has been sent to me Watch for GP to be posted tomorrow. No Fed Cup posts have went up since 9 am so... this is as good time as any... Deadline is now up. Fed Cup battle royal short form result will be announced right here after Roy Lee Rumble lineup & roleplaying begins. I'm on page two of scoring Fed Cup, ! thanX Denotes(point total) Fed Cup Cinncinnati Battle Royal Results Unknown?(1pt) was eliminated by Luca Altieri That Wrestler Johnny(2.5) was eliminated by Johnny Onyx Johnny The Pirate(3) was eliminated by PSA Henry W. Miller(4) was eliminated by Johnny Onyx PSA(7.5) was eliminated by Luca Altieri For the first time in Fed Cup history the Battle Royal ended when BOTH final combatants battled over the top and to the floor at the same time tieing. CO-WINNERS Johnny Onyx(13) Luca Altieri(13) There is the Fed Cup trophy that is won & passed on from one winner to the next time someone wins. As custom a Fed Cup replica is also given backstage to each winner of Fed Cup to keep in their own trophy case @ home if they choose to. The travelling Fed Cup Trophy which has each winner's name enscribed is not the winner's to keep. However in Cinncinnati there was only one replica Fed Cup to give backstage to the winner(s) as WpW officials did not know for certain who would win. With WpW in Detroit co-promoting the NFL's Super Bowl XL as well as it's own upcoming WpW Roy Lee Rumble in a couple weeks. The co-winners of this Fed Cup have been informed their personal Fed Cup trophies to keep will be sent to Detroit & will be available for them to pick up when they make it there for any promotional appearances they conduct. Congratulations to Johnny Onyx & Luca Altieri for making WpW history becoming WpW's first Co-Fed Cup winners!
|
|